Stages of Transition
by the gnome
Summary: The digidestined find themselves at the forefront of the integration of the human and digital worlds. And everyone has their own politics. Shounen-ai/Shoujo-ai. Slightly AU in that it ignores the ep 50 epilogue entirely
1. Ignorance

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, or anything of worth, so your suing efforts would be useless, ha! Useless I say! No seriously, I'm not out to make any money, just have fun. (and surely that's not against the law is it?)  
  
Warning: Shounen-ai/Shoujo-ai. For the sanity of everyone involved, please don't bother to read something which will just disgust you if you don't like that sort of thing. Roll call: Kensuke, Hiyako, Takori, (Taito, Mira, Jyoshirou)  
  
  
************  
  
Ignorance  
  
************  
  
  
If you'd asked me about maturity 7 years ago, I'd probably have smiled and said 11 year olds can be more mature than you think. After all, saving the world, well, multiple times actually, has a way of doing that to people. But here i am, a jaded worldly 18, and I've never felt so very young in my entire life. We're graduating high school in about a week, and it's strange, but somehow, I think I'd feel more at ease if I was my 11 year old self again. I don't know what I'd give to feel that utter conviction again, that we were in the right, and that faith would provide. I suppose it's all less complicated in retrospect, but maybe when you're young, its easy to see things in rigid terms of good and evil, the world ruled by justice and virtue. I believe we're all closer to virtue in our youth. Perhaps that's why it was children after all who were called to this fight. Of course, even though the digiworld is more widely known these days, the digidestined children, well not children anymore I guess, we all still feel a responsibility to be advocates. Falling back into our old roles. Falling back into our childhoods. In fact, as we get older, the nostalgia seems almost stronger. we're like a whole generation drafted to be protectors of this brave new world. I mean, people can hardly accept other people as equals most of the time, so if anyone needs protection, it's our friends in the digital world, and I'm glad that we can at least do that. But humans are humans after all, and life just isn't as simple in this world as it is in the digiworld. I think. listen to me, talking about saving the world like it was a piece of cake compared to my teenage angst. Jeez, 'Kari, think you can get any more conceited? I laugh to myself, but I can't seem to shake the feeling that things are changing, not just for me and my friends, but for the whole world. For both worlds.  
  
"Hey! Hikari-chan! Come on!"   
  
I look up and see Daisuke running in place, grinning like a moron. A cute moron, but a moron nonetheless. I sigh, maybe some things never change. He's a real sweetheart, but boy am I glad he's not 11 years old anymore. As he makes inane yet endearing hurry gestures I reflect on how much less frustrating he is when he's not worshipping you as a love goddess, and I walk over to him. I silently thank whoever caught his eye and turned it away from me all those years ago, because he grins one of those Daisuke grins and I don't have to worry about taking it away from him, by saying his friendship matters more to me than his heart. I've been so selfish and callous to him, but, he understands. Despite what people say, he really deserves the crest of friendship.  
  
Miyako-chan and Ken walk over, and Daisuke-kun and I both turned to them.  
  
"Takeru and Iori are with the older kids in the lab already," Ken says. "The two of us volunteered to find you. We should have known that Daisuke's been trying to put the moves on you again." He said it jokingly, but his eyes sparkled darkly as he shot a glance at daisuke, who surprisingly enough, noticed and laughed nervously looking away a little. I raised my eyebrow at the strange display, but promptly forgot about it as Miyako began scolding me in turn.  
  
"Hogging all the cute guys again Hikari?" she said, rolling her eyes. I started in confusion, for some reason wanting to deny it vehemently but, she started in again before my brain and mouth could get it together. "Oh, wait, its daisuke, never mind." she continued laughingly, and turned, starting to walk away. "But i won't forgive you for ruining my alone time with Ken-kun." wink. I think ken began to sweat a little.   
  
"Now come on you three, we're wasting plenty of good gossip time with the older kids!" she said, pausing and turning her head back to us. Then she blushed. "Oops, did i say that out loud? uh, nevermind, lets get the lead out!"  
  
Ken and Daisuke-kun gave her strange looks, but I smiled at her as she ran back, grabbed my arm and briskly started dragging me along. She was still blushing, but seemed intent on not looking back at us. I, feeling no such determination, turned and noticed Ken and Daisuke hadn't followed, and turning back, felt a stab for my friend as she still seemed embarrassed into silence. It wasn't like Miyako-chan to get embarrassed so easily, and I felt myself get inexplicably angry at the boys for whatever they'd done to hurt her. however, at that moment, Miyako-chan seemed to notice I was looking at her, and dropped my arm sheepishly. She started walking slower and turned to me with a pasted on smile, saying "Uh, sorry 'bout that Hikari-chan, I, uh, ..., well, uh, Ken was, er, so you were talking to Daisuke and um... I think ken..." she petered off, then sighed and turned away. "I don't think they'd really want us around, so uh, we'd better hurry, y'know." she finished, and I could almost hear the smile crumble out of her voice.   
  
I looked after her, confused. I'd seen and felt this undercurrent of pain and despair before, mirrored it torturously in guilt every time I broke Daisuke's heart. But that was loneliness. I know loneliness. This seemed different. It was strong, stronger than I'd ever seen from Daisuke. I was surprised we were still walking because it struck me pretty hard then, realizing what this could mean. /Miyako was in love/. In love maybe, with Ken? all her comments, all her chasing after him, even her blushing. I thought she had been joking. I wanted to think I was just jumping to conclusions for some reason, but I got this sick feeling. Why else this pain? Miyako has the strength of purity. Nothing could hurt her this much except for her equal strength in love. It had to be. But if that was true, then how could Ken hurt her like this, I thought to myself. How dare he. I remember how much it hurt me to hurt Daisuke, and I hadn't even liked him back. Unless... Unless Ken didn't love her back either... /oh Miyako./ I couldn't help but stare at her back, fixedly, hoping desperately that she was okay. I don't know love. I wish I could help you miyako, but I don't know anything about love. except for pain. I don't know how you can stand this pain...  
  
************  
  
Me and the rest of the digidestined from Odaiba were having a meeting today, y'know it being Saturday and stuff, and it's probably more like a picnic I bet cause, we don't really need meetings anymore, thanks to the kick ass job I, uh I mean we did saving the entire world when we were only 11. And dude, if that isn't cool, I don't know what is! I mean, being an international, or interworldular or whatever hero is a mighty responsibility, but as the leader of the digidestined, I'm totally up to it. Dude! I'm totally late! Oh, wait, there's Hikari-chan, just standing there with that creepy other world look on her face. I can't be that late then. She looks kinda cute like that though. But, I know she doesn't like me like that, and actually, it's kinda cool that it turned out this way, because, now we can talk to each other and she doesn't get that uncomfortable look anymore like she used to. I think it may be what I wanted from her in the first place. I always wanted Hikari-chan to be my friend.  
  
I'm walking towards her, and she must be having some deep existential thoughts, 'cause she doesn't even notice me! And yes, I know what existential means. It's like when people sit around and think about what came first, the chicken or the egg, or maybe the digiegg... Anyway, she still doesn't notice me, and I'm thinking, if she's been standing around in this state, then who knows how late we could be! So i say "Hey, Hikari-chan, Come on!" and start running in place to make her laugh. She looks up and gives me one of those, you're so silly looks and i grin at her. Yeah, it's definetely better this way, cause she could never be around me before without me feeling like she was constantly sorry to be with me. I know her better now, and I know that that meant she didn't want to hurt me, but I mean, I just wanted her to talk to me, and would that have hurt? Well, yeah, maybe if I'd wanted more it would have, but give me a break, I was a lonely kid, and she was Taichi-san's sister who was my age! I thought, 'she'll give me a chance', and she did, but maybe we both got the wrong idea. but I'm glad. I'm real glad that Hikari-chan is my friend.   
  
Then Ken and Miyako show up. They came from inside, so this must mean they've come to get us! And y'know I'm all happy to see them, but, uh, somehow, they don't seem to feel the same way.  
  
Ken cracks some joke about me hitting on 'Kari, but then he gives me this /look/, like I did something wrong. well maybe not that bad, but like that makes him sad, and I can't help feeling soooo, guilty for some reason, I can't even look at him. It's almost like what Hikari-chan used to do around me, but, I don't know, it cut me. Like I want to say to Ken, don't, don't think I would do that. I wouldn't make you sad like that. But what the hell is that supposed to mean I wonder, and I can't even talk I'm so confused.  
  
Meanwhile, Miyako's all getting on Hikari's case about hogging the cute guys, you know, which I totally get, since they're fighting over yours truly. But even when Miyako totally insults me, I get distracted cause she winks at Ken. I mean, Ken and Hikari-chan don't seem too thrilled about that either, though, but soon she's babbled herself into a corner as usual, so she gets our normal puzzled looks, but she seems kinda embarrassed for some reason and drags off Hikari-chan leaving me and Ken alone. Jeez, Miyako's real nice, but she sure can be strange.  
  
So me and Ken just stand there looking at each other for a second, and I don't know what to do. It's like, so weird, y'know. I want to talk to him. I /really/ do... but I have no idea what to say. And all i get is that stare, and I can't think if I want him to look away or want him to really look. I don't know. so...  
  
"Aw, man! I think they're mad." I smile confidently and give him the thumbs up. "Of course, Hikari-chan loves me the way I am, but, good luck with Miyako!" I wink obnoxiously. "She seemed kinda pissed. Really, I could teach you a thing or two about girls man." I keep smiling, wanting him to laugh, punch me, defend Miyako's honour, anything! Please. Please I almost say. I want him to stop looking and I want to look at him forever but I want both and I'm all mixed up, and I don't, and it's, so... intense.  
  
In that moment I watched as the, well, whatever it was, changed, and that familiar mask of amused superiority slid back into place. So he walks past me with a big sarcastic smile of his own and says "Sure, Daisuke, maybe I'll take you up on that some time. You could teach me how to repel women. I think Miyako-chan would really appreciate that actually." With him looking back at me, cat's smile all over his face, I could almost think I'd been imagining things. It's not the first time I've lost track of reality, so I figure I oughta act normal like.  
  
I stick out my tongue and shoot back, "Well you just don't understand my sensitive appeal!" Then I run in front of him and call, "And i bet you can't beat me to the lab". He sighs, but runs up to parallel me. Raising an eyebrow he replies, "Don't I? The weak are fun to dominate." He's doing that smug thing again, but I look into his eyes. There's no smile in his eyes.  
  
I slow a little, allowing him to shoot ahead of me, wondering, why those smileless eyes mean anything to me. I could tell from them that he'd been disappointed. and I can't get it out of my head. He's kind. He's too kind.  
  
************  
  
"I don't think they'd really want us around, so uh, we'd better hurry, y'know."  
  
God, its all I can do to keep walking and not start banging my head on the wall. Why do I do this to myself? I can feel that she's looking at me and I wish, I just wish for once I could relate normally to people, but no, Miyako-chan opens her mouth, and oh, instant foot sandwich. Of course Ken and Daisuke wouldn't want me around. argh, I sound stupid and pathetic even to myself!  
  
I sigh to myself as I hear Hikari's footsteps behind me. In a second she's caught up, laying a hand on my arm.  
  
"Miyako-chan, are you okay?" She's looking at me, and I wonder what she sees. I like to think there's something worthwhile under all my idiotic crap, but is there really? Can you see it Hikari-chan? If there's anything, then maybe I'm blind.   
  
But just the fact that she's looking maybe makes me smile a little. "Yeah, I'm fine." I say. Then i pull out my patented Miyako love struck mooning face. "I just wanted to be there as my beloved Ken-kun showed Daisuke the penalty for accosting a lady, but he's so delightfully shy that I'm afraid he wanted to shield my delicate eyes from such graphic violence." I hold the pose as if expecting a backdrop to materialize behind me, and I can see Hikari-chan's familiar, 'oh no, she's being weird again' expression appear. We both chuckle at the worn in joke, and continue walking. She still seems a little apprehensive, maybe a little more than usual actually, but I think the way she cares about people is kinda sweet, if a bit heavy.  
  
But that's the crux of the problem isn't it. People like Hikari, they care about others. Me, I've always just been me, and I don't care what others think, I don't care how they feel. Except now I do. And yeah, I know I'm an ass most of the time. That's just who I am. But whenever I'm around everyone, Hikari-chan, Ken-kun, Daisuke, Iori, Takeru, the other chosen children I'm a mess of what I want them to think about me. It sucks.  
  
Hikari and I are walking along in a companionable silence, and I glance at her, wondering how she can be so strong. Strong enough to care about others more than herself. I really admire her, y'know. She's kind, smart, beautiful, graceful, um, tactful, well, basically everything I'm not. But thanks to my incredible self-centeredness, it just makes things worse. It makes me afraid. I'm afraid that I'll drive her away. I'm afraid that I'll lose everyone. We're so different and all, and she scares me the most.  
  
Daisuke I get. He's actually a lot like me when it comes down to things, just a little braver, friendlier, uh, dumber, ack having unkind thoughts again. I think Daisuke and I understand each other because for the longest time we were both alone. For a long time all we could count on was ourselves, and I think that's how we got the way we are. Sure he can be aggravating, but Daisuke is strong too. He has a huge heart, and he isn't afraid to take on anything.  
  
Ken reminds me a little of Hikari. They're both brilliant, but aside from that, they have the same way of putting others ahead of themselves. Ken told us the story about the dark ocean and his brother once, and I think a long time ago, Ken branded himself as no good. He has a gentle nature, and he's been used and hated, and it's left him hurt. Sigh, and he's really cute, but that is not the point. I like to make a big deal of 'our inevitable marriage' but we're really just good friends. Oh, sure, he has a certain draw, but my chasing him is more of a desire to get to know him, and I think he feels the same way about it. He's nice enough not to mind my posturing, and in a way, it's the only way I can think of to show him we want him around. He and I both know what its like to feel unwanted I guess, and that's our strange way of fighting it. But I don't think I'm in love... with him. As if I really know what love is.  
  
Iori-kun would tell me I'm being stupid again. And he'd be right. The damnedest thing about that kid is he's right so often. He can be all innocent and sweet, but you gotta wonder if there ain't a bit of a demon in that kid. He just knows /way/ too much.  
  
Then out of nowhere Ken and Daisuke come running at us, not looking where they're going. Predictably, they run into us and we all end up rather bruised and unhappy on the floor. By this point, we're actually right outside the computer lab we're using today, and the commotion attracts everyone from within. Thankfully it's just the other digidestined. Or maybe not thankfully. I'm hearing way too much laughter to be pleased here.  
  
"Dammit, Yama, this is why you do not send teenagers to do anything!"  
  
"Shut up Tai! I'm not the one who decided to send them. Ask Takeru. Besides, oh high and mighty 22 year old Taichi-sama, I can think of non-teenagers in this room who think with their hormones, cough, you, cough."  
  
"Wanna make something of it 'Yama-sama'?"  
  
"Um, guys, lets not trash the computer room shall we..."  
  
"Oh, come on Sora, they're so cute together. Don't you think it would be fun to watch?"  
  
"Mimi-chan!~"  
  
"That's not what I meant, but I caught you, didn't I, you hentai!"  
  
"Er,.."  
  
"Jyou-san, you think we should just leave without them?"  
  
"At this point, I think that's an excellent idea Koushirou."  
  
"Ahem!" That was Takeru. "Uh, do you guys intend to stay like that all day, 'cause, while it seems like an uh, /interesting/ position, most of us prefer our picnics chaste and on time."  
  
"Um, considering the company, are you sure that's true Takeru-san?"  
  
Sigh, "You don't agree with me Iori-kun?"  
  
Iori looked us over again. When we'd fallen, I'd reached out for Hikari-chan, only to succeed in pulling her down on top of me instead of remaining upright. Aw well, at least I seem to have broken her fall. I landed with my back against Ken-kun, who'd ended up with Daisuke sprawled across the half that Hikari and I weren't blocking. In fact, Daisuke somehow ended up laying half on Ken and half on Hikari. I for the life of me couldn't figure out why none of us had felt the urge to move.  
  
Iori turned an eye on the older digidestined who were still bickering, and replied to Takeru, "I think it's just the two of us."  
  
************  
  
I smile apologetically to Miyako-chan as we begin to extricate ourselves, seeing the others getting impatient. I tried to make sure to catch everyone on the way down, but I almost missed Hikari. Luckily, Miyako seems to have been more alert. This accident is entirely too indicative of my behavior recently. Not thinking. I'm too at ease, and I don't want to make a habit of it, but whenever I'm with this bunch, it just seems natural. When I decided to come to this high school with the rest of them, I tried to tell myself it was for practical reasons, but I know, I can't imagine my life without them. Maybe I'm losing my edge.  
  
Daisuke gets to his feet, surreptitiously checking my leg where he fell on it to make sure I'm okay. I'm used to it from when we get a little rough in soccer practice, but I'm still not sure why he feels the need to hide the fact that he doesn't like hurting people. I suppose he's got his enforcer image to keep up, but really, he's more of a protector type. He helps Hikari up out of Miyako's arms, and I lift Miyako-chan up to her feet as I rise.   
  
As we see the older digidestined still engaged in various states of bickering, Miyako smiles to me, winks, and gives me a pat on the, er, back, to show no hard feelings between friends. I return the smile, but begin edging away, blatantly. I stop and we both chuckle a little. Most people seem to think we're some kind of off and on couple, but the flirting is more like a pretext between us. I guess neither of us has the most straightforward way of thinking, and this is how we show we're comfortable with each other. Mutual non-rejection? Who knows.  
  
Meanwhile, Takeru and Iori have gathered over to Daisuke and Hikari, who fix Miyako and I with twin unaccountably frosty glares. Miyako looks at me and then turns back to them with a distraught look, but the unpleasantness only seems to intensify. Remembering my earlier exchange with Daisuke, I feel an almost physical need to explain myself, but I'm not sure of what. It's just that, Daisuke and I have been leaning on each other since we were children, and I've always felt that, together, we were neigh unstoppable. What I mean is, he seems to understand me in a way that no one else can, and the thought of upsetting that, is, wrecking.  
  
He forgave me and made me feel like a human being again, and without him, I don't know who I would be. But recently, well, maybe for a while now actually, something's been brewing between us that we can't seem to control, and, the thought of drifting, no, being driven apart, it hurts more than I could have ever imagined.  
  
However, Takeru and Iori, seemingly oblivious of the darkened mood break our tableau, Takeru taking Hikari's arm, which of course entices Daisuke to protest, loudly, and Iori tugging on Miyako's sleeve. She manages to snag me as Iori and Takeru lead the rest of us to the computer we're using today, and I attempt to erase the bitter warning playing across my mind with small talk.  
  
Miyako and Hikari seem to have engrossed themselves in conversation with Takeru and Iori, so I turn to Daisuke and say, "I'm really looking forward to seeing Wormmon today. It's been kind of lonesome around the apartment without him this week." We generally visit the digital world weekly, and our digimon have taken to alternating between the worlds each week. He still looks a little down as he answers, "Yeah, me and Veemon are best buds, it sucks having to deal with Jun all by myself." The disheartened expression gives way to a smile, his genuine smile. the one I... the one that can always cheer you up. "But I know Veemon enjoys spending time in the digiworld too so, y'know, I don't mind the switching back and forth. In fact, it's kinda like a little vacation every weekend! Man, I'd go everyday, but I gotta go to school. Hey! Maybe after we graduate, we'll have more time to spend there." It's only then as he smiled his guileless smile that I realized, he really didn't know.   
  
During the crisis between worlds 7 years ago, the existence of the digital world became public knowledge, but still, the world governments have been keeping it low profile ever since then. Since the 'agents' with unlimited access were children, they pretty much left us alone while they tried synthesizing the digi-technology, however, as we come of age and leave our home environments the government contacts us and makes arrangements. We basically have to commit to a kind of service agreement to justify coming and 'working' in the digital world. We become true agents so to speak, diplomats, liaisons to the other world. We are no longer free in that respect. The work of the digidestined was not finished 7 years ago. There are too many things we don't understand, and it seems our new mission is to truly, bridge the gap between both worlds.   
  
Seeing as the older kids all participated in such arrangements, I had assumed we all knew that. For that reason, I was certain at least Hikari and Takeru knew, likely Miyako was aware too. Between us, we treated the subject as a kind of daunting taboo. In fact, since the older children were here today, it had to mean something was going on. We're nearing our high school graduation yes, all except for Iori.   
  
But Daisuke didn't know. I /had/ known that Iori was ignorant, actually I suspected Takeru and Miyako of keeping it from him on purpose. I smiled at Daisuke lightly, not trusting myself to answer. So the sour premonition came true. I reasoned, this was probably our last 'picnic'.  
  
The older chosen gathered behind us, and Takeru pulled out his digivice.  
  
"Digiport, open!"  
  
The familiar sensation of being pulled into the computer came over us, but for a split second, the light seemed to change into a negative image. Dark electricity appeared to flicker across Takeru's body. My eyes widened in recognition of the shadowy force. It had haunted me for years, the darkness within that had helped warp my soul all those years ago. I heard a sharp gasp from the other side of the room, and turned toward it. I met Hikari's frightened eyes where I saw a building horror likely parallel to that which I felt myself. I was shaking while Hikari's hands clenched convulsively around the camera slung around her neck. I wanted to call out a warning to run away, but suddenly the dark electricity around Takeru broke away, passing through Hikari and I, then swirling around the older chosen settling on Yamato, Sora, and Jyou. Then it was gone and we were pulled into the digital world.  
  
************   
  
The transfer seemed a bit rougher than usual this time, and we emerged in kind of a heap, but quickly reorganized. I noticed that nearby, Takeru-san looked a little shaken, so concerned, I went to help him up. Curiously, I saw Ken-san move immediately to pull Hikari-san aside.  
  
When I reached Takeru-san, he smiled as I offered my hand to him. Taking it, he still seemed pale as he rose.  
  
"Is something wrong, Takeru-san?"  
  
"No, it's just..." he trailed off as Hikari and Ken started over and something unspoken passed between the three. "I'm fine Iori-kun, just a little surprised is all" he replied without turning back to me. Hikari rushed over to him, and the three began discussing in low voices. Unsure of what to do, I shuffled my feet and looked at the ground trying to be inconspicuous, trying very hard to tell myself that I didn't want to know what they were speaking of. I swallowed, then steeled myself to move away, berating the indignancy that rose within me. I wanted so much for them all not to treat me like a child, but how am I to expect that when I can't even quell such childish desires. I have faith that they trust me. They've trusted me with their lives, and I am confident in doing the same in turn. But at the same time, if it was at all possible that I could help, I wish, I wish they would confide in me. My curiosity burned within me, despite the fact that I realize it's probably none of my business. Just, the anxiety of not knowing, I can never force it away.  
  
I gaze at Takeru-san standing a few feet ahead, a man who's been enigmatic to me from the outset, and the urge to learn, the desire to understand him and this new riddle reasserts itself. But I know I'm out of place here. I feel lost sometimes because I know there's too much I don't and probably never will understand. And that's why I don't belong in this business. But I want so badly to make it otherwise.  
  
I sense Miyako-san at my arm and turn to her. She's looking over at the recently gathered group of three as well. Perhaps a similar curiosity plagues her because she seems slightly troubled.  
  
"Takeru and Hikari..." she pauses overlong, and I'm not sure why she seems so unhappy at that. "and Ken?" Now her brows crease in puzzlement. Ah, perhaps that's it. Miyako-san has always been a mite possessive of Ken, but somehow, I'd not thought it went that deep. Miyako-san is my best friend. I know that she and Ken seem to have an attraction, but the longing I'd just seen in her was not the same as the feeling I normally see her attach to Ken. Right now she has the same lost look that I felt before. Like there's a world we can never belong to, no matter how close we could strive to be.  
  
She snaps out of her reverie and plies the questioning gaze on me. "Iori, what's going on?"  
  
Ashamed, I can only reply "I'm not sure..."  
  
"Hey. Hey!" Taichi-san is calling out to all of us. Takeru-san, Hikari, and Ken seemingly ignore him, but Miyako-san, Daisuke, and I give him our attention.  
  
"The six of us have something to take care of. Y'know, and we thought we'd check stuff out, hang around, y'know get to know the old place again. It's been a while for all of us so, you guys wait for your digimon here, we arranged to meet with ours elsewhere actually. We'll see you later."  
  
I nod, but I'm thinking this is a bit nonsensical. Why not all just meet here and then split up? A shade of understanding that I don't recognize falls over Miyako-san, and she answers, "Yeah, I'll tell the others. Izumi-senpai can e-mail us if you need us."   
  
The older digidestined who've now gathered around Taichi-san remain in place because he seems a little unsure. Then Daisuke walks over to him. He doesn't seem to know whatever it is that Miyako-san does either, but he's not bothered it seems. "Sure dudes! I think all of us are just gonna have a picnic, so feel free to join us later. But don't expect anything good to be left!" He turns and nods to us. With that, Taichi-san and the others seem satisfied and move off towards the forest nearby.  
  
Miyako-san and I go to join Daisuke where he seems to be scanning the plain ahead of us for signs of our digimon. I puzzle a bit at that exchange, but it seems fairly natural to me. After all, Daisuke is our leader, maybe not in as complete a sense as Taichi-san is to the older children, but he usually speaks for us all.  
  
Leadership was less of an issue in our group than the elder group it seems as we didn't have to face the same kinds of trials as a group that they did. I've gathered that in their original adventure in the digital world, the elder children had to assimilate into a highly cohesive group to survive. Thusly, strong roles had to be established in their group, Taichi-san's being that of the leader, figurehead type. I think that's why their actions as a group tend to reflect his actions. On the other hand, our group formed as a result of the roles we fulfilled, so Daisuke's actions as our leader tend to reflect the consensus of our group. Which is not to say that one way is weaker or stronger, only that our different relationships formed different structures resulting in different types of leadership.  
  
I'm no fool. We've all been through enough together for me to see that the elder group, along with its intricate role structure contains subtle partnerships. But like the situation with leadership, different qualities are emphasized and sublimated, so our relational organization is more based around our jogress pairs as strategical units.  
  
Miyako-san and I had been standing with Daisuke for some time when he actually spotted our digimon and began making a commotion greeting them. Seeing his simple expression of what the digital experience meant made me realize I was over analyzing things again. The three of us stood our ground and waved wildly as we watched six little dots sharpen into the forms of our digimon friends. Miyako-san is smiling at them, more subdued than usual and I notice Daisuke's performance is a bit over the top. the arrival of our friends seems to bring Takeru-san, Hikari, and Ken back to us, and I realize, perhaps there was a subset I hadn't been calculating. The three of us called to inherit the strength of our predecessors have an added responsibility to live up to I think, and an obligation to our teammates who bear unique burdens.  
  
I also try to act as if I don't sense something amiss in our group, but as Takeru-san and the others rejoin us, I feel a darkness as surely as Miyako-san and Daisuke must have. The darkness that the three of us specifically are meant to fight. I know this, but I don't know how. I can only vow that the others can depend on me to do my best against it.  
  
I must talk to Armadimon about it. That's the last thing I think as our digimon partners reach us, and we respond warmly, all in our own ways.  
  
************  
  
"Takeruuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!"  
  
Patamon flies into my arms, and I hug the little orange digimon to me tightly, hearing the sounds of the others being greeted.  
  
"Daisuke!"  
  
"Yo Veemon! Long time no see!"  
  
"Greetings Miyako-san!"  
  
"Nice to see you too Hawkmon."  
  
At this point, Patamon sees fit to wriggle out of my arms and hovers around my head playing with my hat.  
  
"Ken-chan! I missed you!"  
  
"I missed you too Wormmon."  
  
"I was beginning to think you guys might not show."  
  
"We wouldn't miss this for the world Tailmon."  
  
"Glad to hear it Hikari-chan."  
  
"Patamon!" laughing, I chase him as he makes off with my hat. He finally lands on my head, hat on top of him.  
  
"Doesn't that look funny Iori-kun?"  
  
Armadimon and Iori, who was kneeling by him, gave us amused looks. I rolled my eyes up trying to see what a Patamon hat looks like, but only succeeded in jostling the little joker. Iori and Armadimon looked at each other, nodded, and then Armadimon climbed up Iori's shoulders and onto his head. He stood and grinned at me, and it didn't look quite as imbalanced as it did when Iori-kun was 9, but I suppose I would've found it more humorous without a hyper patamon on my head.  
  
"Very funny guys." I replied dryly. Then laughed anyway. It was remarkable though, Iori-kun had shot up considerably during his growth spurt, and would have caught up to me if I hadn't gained a little height in the recent year. Hmm, I don't know why I just had that thought, but it's true. Despite Iori-kun being a bit younger, it's quite apparent that we're all growing up. He's actually quite a handsome young man now. And at least, that youth affords him a bit more time... There are just some things he doesn't need to know about yet. I hope he can enjoy this time.  
  
We walk over to the others, digimon hooded, as they, enjoying the joke, refused to come down. Daisuke-kun and Miyako-chan are setting up the picnic blanket and food, mostly, I think in an effort to protect it from a hungry Veemon. Tailmon smiles wryly at Hikari-chan as she sees us come over and says "I think the guys have let the attention go to their heads."  
  
Hikari-chan giggles, and Iori-kun has the grace to look a little embarrassed, while I turn to Ken for help, only to find him chuckling as well.   
  
"I'm not sure I get it Ken-chan. I think it's nice that Takeru and Iori carry their friends around."   
  
Ken sighs smilingly at Iori and I, and replies "I guess you're right as usual Wormmon. Its very kind of them." But then he smirks. I make mock annoyed faces at Iori-kun, and that finally makes him laugh too.  
  
Iori's laugh is a ringing reminder of my precious memories in the digiworld, and suddenly, my mood darkens a little at the recollection of the shadow that had crossed us on our journey today. So help me, I'd fight anything that tried to destroy what I hold dear.  
  
I glance over where Ken and Hikari are, and see they must be thinking something similar, because they turn silent. They sensed the threat too, apparently, and saw how it obstructed us earlier today. They could feel the darkness as well. meanwhile, Iori-kun noticed the mood shift, and faded out laughing, but we were saved an awkward moment by Miyako and Hawkmon's remarkably similar sounding offended squawks.  
  
"Daisuke! How could you! You know that food is for all of us!"  
  
"Indeed, Veemon, you should be ashamed, depriving your fellow digimon like this!"  
  
"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em's what I say. 'gulp'" Daisuke had apparently united with his digimon in food thievery.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll leave some for you guys 'gulp', I'm just hungry!" Veemon did seem to be holding back a little from his usual eating habits...  
  
"YOU MORONS!" Wow, Miyako-chan and Hawkmon in stereo can be intimidating.  
  
As if trying to forget the hanging thought of darkness, Hikari-chan ran over to them, eager to think about something, anything else. They make her feel safe I think, in a way that neither Ken or I can. She needn't fear that they'll be taken by the darkness. Ken walked over to Daisuke-kun, who apparently has a similar affect for him, and snatched a sandwich out of his hand. Daisuke stuck out his tongue, but ignoring the weak protests, Ken winked and tossed it to Miyako, who gave it to Hawkmon.  
  
I saw Miyako take Hikari-chan's hand because the girl seemed visibly distressed. Hikari looked a little surprised at that, but they exchanged a few words, and she smiled. I needn't fear for Hikari either, as it seems with help, she can hold back her darkness. Even as I can understand it, I myself am of no help. No help at all.   
  
Meanwhile, Daisuke-kun had stopped pilfering sandwiches, looking a bit regretfully at Ken, who eyed him with reproach. then Ken relented and split his own sandwich in half, giving one part to Daisuke. Daisuke did a little happy dance around Ken, who seemed satisfied with half a sandwich and Daisuke, and I wondered if maybe I wasn't the weak link in this battle. I think with the help of the group, the others will be okay. But I don't want to fight the darkness alone.  
  
I felt a tap on my arm and turned to see Iori-kun holding my hat, as it seemed, bored with my idleness, Patamon had flown over to the food, Letting the hat flop to the ground. Armadimon had joined the others as well, and silently, Iori's eyes invited me to do the same. However, he handed me back the hat, which I replaced firmly, and began to speak. "Takeru-san, please tell me what's going on. The three of you..." He stopped there as if ashamed of his curiosity, the brightness that had always shocked me into awareness before. I felt terrible at leaving him in such anxiety, but the darkness, it would be better if he didn't know, even if I was scared of it myself. Even if it would have been easier to tell him.  
  
It was one thing confiding in Ken and Hikari, who know the darkness, too well, as do I, but I refuse to get Iori-kun and the others involved in that.  
  
"Iori-kun, I..." This time I was cut off.  
  
Large explosions were coming from the forest nearby where the older digidestined had went off to. My eyes widened. Oh no, could the mission have gone wrong? Yamato and the others must be in danger! We have to help! All of us had stopped to look over, but now, Ken, Hikari, and Miyako were all making preparations to move out. Daisuke was sitting in the middle of them looking bewildered, and I began to move to help, when I noticed Iori-kun looked the same. I don't regret keeping this from him, though, it lances me that his ignorance, which he hates, is partly my fault. I'll apologize later Iori...  
  
We all froze when we heard clearly coming from the forest, a deafening shout. It was WarGreymon's voice.  
  
"GAIA FORCE!!!"  
  
The crash of its impact sounded and we watched in horror as a dome of red orange fire spread across the ground to meet us.  
  
************  
  
End Chapter 1  
  
A/N: okay, so this is part of my horribly failed attempt at subtle yaoi/yuri -ness. theoretically, if i continued this, the next chapter would be all 01 pov, you know, 6 on 6 and all. and judging from the way i chose for this chapter, taito etc. should abound. anyway, whoa, there was a much stronger takori vibe than i expected. 'sweatdrop' i know everyone hates shakkoumon, but i couldn't help it! 'til next time i guess. also, i don't really know much about how they address each other, so all that -san -chan -kun stuff was almost entirely made up.  
  
************ 


	2. Caprice

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, or anything of worth, so your suing efforts would be useless, ha! Useless I say! No seriously, I'm not out to make any money, just have fun. (and surely that's not against the law is it?)  
  
Warning: Shounen-ai/Shoujo-ai. For the sanity of everyone involved, please don't bother to read something which will just disgust you if you don't like that sort of thing. Roll call: Taito, Mira, Jyoushirou, (Kensuke, Hiyako, Takori)  
  
  
************  
  
Caprice  
  
************  
  
  
The fact that the surrounding landscape much resembles the surface of the moon, when just a second ago we were trapped in dense forest is appallingly not the most horrifying result of our intrusion. I find it all the more grisly the way the vanquished disperse into the air silently, leaving us to imagine their anguished dying cries. It's harder when they don't speak. Because then I tend to forget, I tend to forget that in the end we're nothing but killers, that we're not putting down rogue animals in a world that we belong in, but that we're imperialist conquerors destroying a way of life. For what sake, I'm not sure. I wanted to protect this world, my friends, my family more than anything, or was it, protect them from this world? I can't remember anymore.  
  
"Yamato! What the hell do you think you're doing just standing there? Go help the others. Jyou and Koushirou and checking the area for dark devices, and Sora and Mimi are on the look out for more hostiles. Make yourself useful dammit." Taichi is staring at me in anger. He's so quick to do that. But he's really unthreatening when's he's holding an exhausted koromon, especially since I have MetalGarurumon at my back. And I have this pointless desire to bite back, ask just what he thinks we're here for anyway, meet his fire with mine. But he's already turned away.   
  
Taichi, I resent you. I cherish you. I hate you. You are my best friend. But you've grown up, and I am the same child I've always been. My feelings have not changed. I motion to MetalGarurumon and we walk away from you, to explore the charred remains of the grove that was destroyed by War Greymon's attack.  
  
Not surprisingly, we don't find anything of more substance than ash, and I wander to the perimeter of the battle area more to avoid Tai's orders than of any fear of another attack. Sora and Mimi notice my movements, and we move into a triangular formation, for better scouting position. I'd like to think I'm watching for more agents, come to help us clean up this mess, but I know better. We destroyed hostiles, we'll inform our superiors, and the case will be closed, after all, regeneration projects have yet to be sanctioned in 'enemy' territory.  
  
Bullshit. At least that's what I think. I thought we were being loyal to the digital world, I wanted to help our friends, but this, I don't know. Taichi buys into it, that we're here to protect the digital world, just like in the old days. And I envy his courage and his conviction. They won me over once. He showed me what he thought was right, and I agreed. I still agree. But we were killers in the old days too. Fuck it. How can I do what's right if I don't even know what that is?  
  
I see that Taichi, Jyou, and Koushirou have converged in the center of our manmade clearing, apparently to compare notes. They motion to Sora, Mimi, and I to gather, so we abandon our posts. Seeing that all of our digimon are digivolved to at least champion, and mostly to ultimate except for Koromon, anything that chooses to attack us at this point anyway will most likely come to a quick end. Another inefficiency to Tai's order structure. Aw well.  
  
"So, you guys find anything?" Sora called to Tai and the others as the three of us neared them. I can see them shaking their heads already, no.  
  
We arrive, if for no more purpose than to share the air of unease with them. Uncomfortable, I try to comment coolly, "Look, what is the point of this. Why don't we just report, then go home." Taichi slams his fist into his open palm, exclaiming, "We have to find the cause of these outbreaks. Agents are being attacked at random seemingly, but at this frequency, there's no way it can be coincidence. There has to be some kind of organization behind this. Some kind of new evil, and we've got to crush it!"  
  
His ever inspiring speeches put about as much fire into us as a rainy day. All his anger and force could do little to dent the sense of utter futility that hangs almost suffocating around us. Koushirou's face betrays the puzzlement that he usually retreats into his computer for, but for once, he seems to have resisted the urge to whip out the laptop and start banging away. Perhaps that has something to do with the way Jyou is looking at Taichi like he's a damn fool.   
  
It's the first time I've seen our annoyingly verbose Jyou seem ready to come down to physical expressions of frustration. he isn't whining today, in fact, he has the distinct look of wanting to hit someone, and i think that's got us all suckered, especially Koushirou. I suspect the draw of that mystery is all that's keeping his computing instincts at bay. I guess the fucking stress is getting to all of us.  
  
Sora-chan, ever the peacemaker tries to thin through the tension, but you can tell, she doesn't know what to make of things either. "But Taichi," she begins in a muted voice, hand waving vaguely in the space between Tai and Jyou, "What if the digimon are acting on their own," she swallows, "or, what if the agents are at fault..."  
  
I don't want to hear it, no more, it has to stop, if it goes on anymore, we're all frustrated enough to cry. I don't want to hear Taichi use his anger to cover it anymore.   
  
I open my mouth to speak, not knowing what to say, but Mimi, in her unerringly innocent fashion dismisses the concept. "Oh, come on you guys, I mean, sure this is totally weird and all, but, I'm sure we'll find something soon, and even if we don't it's not our job to figure it out, y'know. It's no use getting all worked up about it." She might be right, but the fact that solving these problems has been taken out of our hands is something none of needed reminding of.  
  
"What's important is we don't give up... right?" Sora-chan shoots Mimi a look I can only guess a meaning at since she cringes back in on herself in mid-sentence. "How would you know if we shouldn't anyway..." is Sora's quiet reply. It's true, Mimi has less experience dealing with this matter, since she only moved back to Japan and back into our division about a year ago. The rest of us have been finding these cases ever since our induction about four years back, since the Japanese government seemed to think our little team was the perfect task force for taking out hostiles. Activity has been deceptively low since Mimi joined us, but nevertheless, the frequency was slowly but surely increasing over the years, and the five of us being at the center of it for so long are at a loss. So Mimi wasn't quite as frustrated as the rest of us, but sora-chan wasn't cutting her any slack. Maybe I'm not the only one around here with some resentment.  
  
Our digimon had been keeping quiet for the most part, apparently a little fatigued after the fight, but of course hadn't reverted since a threat was still possible. However, at that moment, we were interrupted by the deep gravelly voice of my MetalGarurumon, calling our attention to something we'd all forgotten. It hadn't been that long since we'd left the younger children, our fully digivolved companions turning in a difficult, but quick battle. I suppose in the excitement, none of us had remembered how close we still were to their location. "Hey, Yamato, isn't that Takeru?"  
  
At least close enough for them to see the pyrotechnics. Fucking hell. We all turned to see 6 champion digimon carrying six teenagers right into the battle scarred terrain.   
  
"Hn, no shit..." is all i can get out.  
  
"Oniichan! Are you guys all right? What happened?!" Hikari-chan shouted.  
  
At the same time, Takeru was calling to me, "Don't worry! We're here to help you guys!" Someone please remind me not to quit my day job.  
  
************  
  
The expressions on Tai and Yamato's faces were so funny I almost burst out laughing right then, but considering how totally funky everyone was acting since the fight, I decided it wouldn't be a very good idea. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not an idiot. I know what's right and wrong, I know what's nice and what's mean, and I know when I don't care. Okay, so maybe that makes me an airhead, but I'm definetely not an idiot.  
  
And now is definetely not the time to piss anybody off. Taichi and Yamato are so stressed out, especially with the new kids showing up, I'd be afraid to point out even the obvious. Like the fact that their siblings' arrival might not be a problem at all.  
  
That doesn't stop me from thinking it needs to be said, but, honestly, I hate myself more and more these days for not doing it. And just because I don't trust things to be the same. I trust myself. It's like, I try not to do anything I don't believe in, but, I'm scared. Sometimes I'm scared of saying anything at all.  
  
I mean, look at us. I swear if they didn't have such unbelievable amounts of hair, Tai and Yama would be bald out of worry for sure. Jyou's stopped talking for god's sake, I mean, sure he can be annoying, but being in the digiworld without hearing his reassuringly safe and boring 'plans', it's just eerie. Even worse, it makes me feel like no one's watching out for us at all, and like, that might be the one thing we need the most. Even Koushirou, good old Koushirou who's nearly as good as me at being single-mindedly insensitive, seems to be affected. He not looking stuff up on his laptop! How weird is that? It just screams that something is wrong. Something is terribly horribly wrong.  
  
And what bugs me the most is I have no earthly idea of what that could possibly be. Okay, so digimon attacked us, what else is new? Ever since we came to the digiworld 12 years ago they've been doing that, heck, now that we're working for the government we don't even have to worry about why, like, we just have to stop them. And what's so stressful about that?  
  
I'm starting to think that whatever it is, it's dangerous, and it's so frustrating not knowing. But argh, it would be so much less frustrating if someone would just tell me what's going on. I'd better not ask though, their glares will burn holes right through me. Just like before with Sora. And I don't think I'd be able to stand that again. What is it I don't get, and how can it hurt so much? Sounds like a personal problem to me.  
  
I've only been at this for a year, ever since moving back to Japan. Its a bit different than in my previous experience, where it seemed the American government cared as much about the digital world as any other third world country so all I had to do to visit was like, get a visa. Of course I don't mind being reunited with the team, but I don't know how much help I am. In that way its like I'm 10 years old again, the same useless Mimi, worried about getting dirty and missing lunch. But that's not true is it? I learned so much from that experience, from these very people. I care so much about them, I really do. I'm not that girl anymore.  
  
I feel small and petty, but, 10 years is a long time. How can I live with the changes? How can I trust them?  
  
Every time I open my mouth I'm afraid of the way they will react. I know I'm a coward for wanting to believe that I still have a place in their hearts, but I'm even more of one for letting that fear stop me from doing what I know is right. Why am I acting this way?  
  
I sneak a look over at Sora whose earlier words had stung me like a slap in the face. The two of us used to be closer than sisters, but I miss her so much, I don't want to believe that we've been apart too long to know we need each other. But that exercise of will isn't enough to keep her from turning away from me, or to hold me from doing the same when I look in her eyes. I'm sorry that I don't understand your point of view, but no one understands the way I feel either! Can't you see how hard I'm trying to understand? Why am I talking to myself? I should really be telling her this, but how can I explain feelings that have been building for years? It kills me not knowing what she meant. That gaze, the one that tells me there's things I need to know. It's killing me.   
  
She's not looking at me, so thankfully, when I realize I've been staring, it's not too embarrassing. But then again, I don't really get embarrassed that easily. So maybe I won't bother not staring at her.  
  
Right now everyone's attention seems to be on the younger kids anyway, and okay, maybe I can't hold back a little snicker as Hikari and Takeru walk up to their stunned brothers. As if, those two jerks really thought they could keep this a secret from the kids. Personally I don't see what the problem is, since they're probably about to be drafted anyway. They might as well work with us. Whatever.  
  
Obviously Tai and Yama don't share those sentiments 'cause Yama is grimacing oddly and Taichi's mouth is flapping open and closed like a carp. What is there about this business that they want to hide? Judging from their actions 7 years ago, those kids will most likely give whatever it takes to be able to help the digital world, and who knows, maybe they can help us figure out this problem. I shrug to myself and get ready to tell Tai just that, since he seems kinda bent out of shape about the younger kids showing up, but someone beats me to the punch.  
  
"I'm afraid we have some explaining to do, but nonetheless your arrival is quite timely." began Koushirou. I flinched as I caught the glares Tai and Yama were sending him, but he seemed to be taking it well.   
  
Nevertheless, wanting to rescue Koushirou from some of that anger, I said, "Yeah, the truth is, they told us to bring your group into the operation when we thought you'd be ready, but Yamato and Taichi thought it would be better to keep you out of it as long as possible." Yikes, I'm getting the heat now, but like I said, I'm almost as good at being insensitive as Koushirou. And I'm also beginning to be thankful that I'm an only child.  
  
Daisuke squints at us so hard its funny, then asks, "Operation? What's going on anyway? And why was stuff blowing up?"  
  
Takeru sighed, and asked in turn, "What happened here?"  
  
"Yes, is there anything we can do to help?" Hikari looked really concerned.  
  
Uh, heh he, like, actually, I'm a little fuzzy on the details myself. I'm not sure how exactly the powers that be wanted this arranged. And how am I supposed to explain why we're fighting random digimon anyway. sigh, I should really think before I act sometimes. Right now, I don't know where to begin.   
  
"It's like, you know..."  
  
Feeling really dense, I look around for some help. Uh oh, no help from Yama or Tai... so, naturally, I turn to Sora, and for an instant, she meets my eyes, just like before, looking into them searchingly. Oops. Perhaps now would have been one of those great, think first situations. In that moment, it becomes clear to me that she didn't want the younger kids to get involved either, and I find myself questioning my own actions. Am I ashamed of what I was saying? No, so why... why do I feel like my heart is right out on display for her to gawk at, and that she can read me like an open book. What is in my heart?  
  
But she begins telling the story that she doesn't want to tell. Just for me. And suddenly, I know that I'm weak, and I feel very sick.   
  
What are you saying to them Sora? I can't hear you, I'm so scared. I'm scared of myself. Because I lied to myself so completely, I believed my own lies. I have no right to borrow your strength. I know why things can never be the same as years ago, at least not for me, and not for you. And I am an idiot. How can anyone trust me if I don't even know the most important people in my life? If I can't even know myself? In my ignorance all I can do is hurt the ones I love.  
  
************  
  
It can't be! I swear things are just getting worse and worse! Now is not the time to panic, panic solves nothing. Get a hold of yourself Jyou. Take deep breaths, slowly, in and out, in and out. As my eyes begin to cross, I ruminate on the fact that I may be the only person in the world who can end up with a lack of oxygen by trying to breath deeply. I feel nauseous.  
  
I shake my head to clear my thoughts, and try to focus on what's at hand. I will not retreat into my old patterns! fighting back the waves of self deprecation, I attempt to analyze the situation objectively and calmly. And fail miserably. As if it wasn't bad enough that all of us are frayed to the bone with stress over these attack calamities, it's one crisis after another!  
  
I'm worried. Not only do we not know why these attacks are occurring, but we don't even know how to stop them or handle them at all. Even the six of us can't be everywhere at once. I promised myself I wouldn't give in to the frustration like I always have before, but holding it all in like this is taking all the effort I have. Perhaps my body will betray me and I'll simply explode, but let's hope my temper doesn't melt down before then. This is harder than I thought.  
  
I sigh at my own circular thoughts, which refuse to introduce themselves to our current situation. The younger digidestined have arrived, and I realize this could actually be our salvation. But ouch, Yamato-kun and Taichi don't seem to think so at all. Maybe I should reconsider. Nevertheless, while I'm lost in my own thoughts, Koushirou-kun and Sora-chan seem to be explaining the situation to the other group.  
  
"Well, I suppose it's obvious we weren't having a picnic isn't it? Actually, what we were doing is a little complicated, but, um..." began Sora-chan, seemingly a bit reluctantly.  
  
"I'm sure most of you are aware of the Japanese government's policies regarding access to the digital world." continued Koushirou.  
  
Instead of them agreeing as it seemed Koushirou-kun had expected, he received a collection of odd looks from the others. Not surprisingly, Daisuke-kun was sporting a blank expression, while Takeru, Ken, and Miyako all had varying degrees of guilt showing on their faces. Iori-kun had a look of intense puzzlement, which reminded me of Kou-kun himself. Hikari-chan was the only one who nodded.  
  
"Eh? You've got to be kidding me..." He muttered. well, not his best explanation to date, but makes about as much sense as anything else under the circumstances. I'd like to come to his aid, but I'm afraid I'd bungle it. He's much smarter than I, he'll come up with a way.  
  
But Sora-chan picks up the slack, saying, "Or in case you aren't familiar, any 'digidestined', that is humans with digivices and digimon partners, who are over the age of 18, or a little younger under some extenuating circumstances, are required by law to make arrangements with the government if they want continued access to the digital world. Due to the nature of the government's operations in this dimension, those arrangements are similar to the service agreements of members of the armed forces. You may choose not to participate in such an agreement, which means no access to the digital world. Any breach of that law will result in criminal charges. Depending on the severity of the infraction you can be charged with anything from trespassing to treason. Needless to say, all six of us are effectively contracted to the government as field agents in the digital world. As five out of six of you are nearing the free access deadline, we were instructed to offer you at any time the option to join our unit. Iori, being younger is still exempt. Unless, of course, he'd like to start early..."  
  
There's that reluctance again, I recognize the face. Sora and I spent a great deal of time together as children, and we share a bond that I'm not sure the others realize. We understand each other. Or at least, I understand why she does what she does. Out of love. Maybe she understands the lengths I go to acting out of fear, but I'm afraid to think about it. why else would she have let me lead her around. Straight into a bunch of bakemon. But I digress. Friendship is a strange thing, and one born out of mutual propensity for anxiety is even stranger. But we have it. And I recognize the face. I'd say, this is specifically, an 'I'm humoring Mimi-chan' face. I've worn that one quite a few times myself.  
  
For Mimi-chan huh? Koushirou-kun seems to have recovered his composure at this point, which is lucky for the other group if they wanted more explanation, because by now Sora-chan's reached worry induced shut down. We must look like twins. I'd like to listen to kou-kun's explanation, I love to listen to him talk, but something is bugging me about the girls.  
  
Okay, if Sora is so worried about the others get involved, why wouldn't she just keep her mouth shut, like Yamato-kun and Taichi? Well, because Mimi-chan wanted her to tell them obviously. I know first hand how difficult it is for compulsive worriers to refuse that girl. Something about her just makes you /worry/, ahem, but anyway, so why isn't Mimi talking for herself? She's not usually one to suppress her opinion. Even 10 years hasn't changed that. Hmm. Sora must have seen that something's wrong.  
  
I hazard a glance over at Mimi, and reel at the familiarity. What in the world? Man, I just want to disappear if things are bad enough to depress /Mimi/ of all people. I suppose my extensive skirt hugging cowardice in our original adventure gave me one useful point of reference. Exposure to our female companions' many ranges of emotion. And I recognize this one too. Last time I saw this expression was when went off together after facing Pinocchimon. 12 years ago. And that was when she was so wrapped up in her own pain that she thought the best thing she could do for the group was to leave. I hope it's not true, but one must assume the worst. Oh crap. I don't think it will help this time Mimi-chan, and I definetely can't go with you.  
  
Frantically trying to think of something to make headway, I tune back in to Kou-kun's explanation.  
  
"...which brings us to today's case. As I mentioned previously, due to our experience, the government has designated our unit as one of its primary engagement forces. When we tried to report to a nearby base, we were attacked by a seemingly organized host of hostile digimon. In fact it appears that we've been targeted specifically. It's a subtle pattern, but since we've been investigating these cases for several years now, and it's quite obvious that these attacks are being masterminded by some force trying to undermine human integration with the digital world. our problem is that we're unable to find any trace of who that force might be, or how they're controlling the digimon."  
  
"What! You mean it's possible there might be another person like the Digimon Kaiser running around, or worse?!" Ken exclaimed.  
  
"Uh, yeah! what he said!" echoed Daisuke.  
  
"That could be..." replied Kou-kun.  
  
"Maybe we should get to the base and try to analyze some of the data you've collected." Miyako said.  
  
Iori chimed in, "Yes, I agree."  
  
"Uh, yeah, but..." Koushirou again.  
  
"Well come on then!" with that Ken moved to leave decisively. Daisuke, Miyako, and Iori followed, but Hikari and Takeru hesitated.  
  
"Hikari-chan?"  
  
"Takeru-san?"  
  
Miyako and Iori stopped, calling back to them, while Ken and Daisuke waited, a bit impatiently. Hikari-chan looked away, then answered quietly, "You guys go on ahead, I, um, wanted to talk to Oniichan for a minute." Takeru nodded and continued, "Yeah, same for me..." Said siblings looked a bit surprised, but then looked at each other and nodded, dropping a little of their standoffish exterior.  
  
Ken replied, "Um, I understand, but..."  
  
Seeing my chance to segue, I moved in as fast as I could. "Well, that settles it. Taichi, Hikari-chan, Yamato-kun, Takeru, Sora-chan and Mimi-chan can stay here to uh... comb the area for clues. Koushirou and I will take the rest to the base." I want him with me. I can use all the help I can get. Good grief, what have I gotten myself into?  
  
"Jyou!? Uh, I mean Jyou-san, what?" Y'know, he's really cute when he's flustered. I spare him a moment. "Even numbers." I reply.  
  
Hurrying things along, I grab his arm and practically drag him over to Ikkakumon. I refuse to think about how stupid this plan is. Our how disturbing it is that everyone agreed. We mount and I look back to Taichi and give him a jaunty little salute, hoping I didn't handle this too clumsily. Taichi nods back at me gratefully, and I see Takeru and Hikari cornering their brothers. Boy am I glad Shin-niichan doesn't behave like any of those guys. Mimi and Sora are looking decidedly confused, but I think this was the best I could do. It's a leap of faith. Sora's the only one I've ever seen talk Mimi out of doing something, uh, not so bright, and this way, maybe once they're out of immediate crisis management, they'll find a way to work things out. We can't afford to lose anyone. Put my mind at ease girls.  
  
I gesture to the others to move out, and as an afterthought, Kou-kun behind me calls out to MegaKabuterimon to follow us. as it is, kou-kun seems a little uncomfortable with ground travel at this speed, at least Ikkakumon style that is, whose shuffle gallop is a bit uneven at best. As we crest a hill particularly suddenly, Kou-kun grapples for his balance, ending up throwing an arm around me and holding on for dear life. He's lucky he brought a bag or he would've lost his laptop by now. I turn my head back to look at him, meaning to indicate his death grip was depriving me of oxygen, but couldn't help smiling at him instead, suddenly unable to say a word. I swear he honestly looks like he thinks he's going to fall off and die. He must know I'd never let that happen, now if only I could get my pesky respiratory system working. Fortunately for us both he got the message and loosened his hold, looking sheepish. I returned my attention to navigation and marveled at how I was actually enjoying this little joyride of screwed up motives and strange situations. And I had the urge to laugh insanely. I'm utterly exhausted.  
  
************  
  
I struggle to rationalize my rather illogical behavior, but I appear to have ventured into an area beyond my expertise. And the fact that this is such a routine occurrence irritates me.  
  
My virtue is not actually in any ability to grasp things beyond the ken of others, it is simply to work until the incomprehensible becomes comprehensible. I love simplicity. That is the force which drives me to attack the complex. there is a beauty in the complete and total understanding borne of sheer mental tenacity, pulling all the tangled threads apart with your own hands and weaving them into a vast tapestry. It's the satisfaction of having strength. The satisfaction of conviction. To me there is no action without conviction, and no conviction without reason. And what better reason is there than knowledge of the truth? So in every solution and problem, I strive to find the avenue to the truth, the simple truth. That is how I act.   
  
But when it comes to your own emotions, nothing ever seems simple.  
  
And therefore, I've no idea how to act when it comes to matters that require me to master not my thoughts, but my feelings. More to the point, I've ridden Ikkakumon more times than I can count, so I'm loathe to admit to myself that my flailing like a seasick monkey has less to do with the ride than the rider. He's making me nervous. Extremely.  
  
Dealing with people has never come naturally to me. But our first journey to the digital world taught me very quickly the necessity of teamwork. Actually, it was Jyou who impressed upon me the importance of relying on others, and having the strength to be relied upon in turn. But the fact remains that I can't claim to understand others very well. Of course that makes them all the more fascinating. But Jyou never seemed a mystery before. I thought I knew him, and that made me feel good, that it was possible for me to let people in, even if just the one we all had to rely on. A safe person. Maybe I didn't see much beyond the surface, but I find it disturbing that of someone I feel I care for, I can find nothing pertinent or insightful to calm my qualms, fears, that I knew nothing at all. I don't understand him or what he's doing, and normally, such a thing would not bother me at all, it would just be another puzzle for me to unravel. Instead, I feel stripped. What value this knowledge when everything I want to know remains perversely oblique. When I don't notice that things change. Like what I want, or who he is.  
  
It's no use. I staunchly resolve not to think about it, and focus on retaining some semblance of dignity for the remainder of this bumpy ride. Then Jyou turns to me and for a moment we're both struck dumb. And then I realize that it's just me. And that he can't breathe. So much for self respect. Thankfully, the rest of the trip goes by without incident, that is, until we actually arrive at the base. Or what used to be the base. I tense in reaction, not believing my eyes.  
  
Jyou and I ground to a halt prompting the others to follow suit.  
  
"Dudes, what are we stopping here for? All I see is a bunch of burning TV's."  
  
I'm sure if any of them had been close enough, one of our companions would've delivered an elbow to the less than observant goggle boy.  
  
Jyou looked grim. "This is... was the base."   
  
Iori turned to us with burning eyes, "What of the personnel?"  
  
At least this I can handle. "There were none. The government's stations in the digital world are primarily unmanned. For reason's we've yet to decipher, technology seems to operate near flawlessly here, so it was optimal to create a network of databases in various explored areas. Agents simply report their data to these stations, sometimes contacting officials in the real world or doing some data analysis. Most of this information is handled by formal researchers. I suppose no one had considered the need to protect these sites." I feel the bitterness welling within me.  
  
A collective sigh of relief was audible from the youngsters, but I returned a serious face. Any loss could be critical. Didn't they understand the importance of this data?  
  
"Don't take this so lightly. This information was vital to our government's research." I continued, my rage building not only at the shrewdness of our enemies but also our own carelessness. "If we don't take care to defend our resources, progress can be sent back by years. I don't know if you've realized it yet, but this is not a game. This is a war. We either kill or face death ourselves. All we have on our side is our own intellects and any knowledge we can use against the enemy, and I can't believe we were stupid enough to put our lives in such jeopardy. The only thing between the future of humanity in the digital world and oblivion is the work we do and the information we earn. No one is dead today, but mistakes like this will only lead to the death of us all." I can feel myself shaking in anger, but realize that the others are well chastised and it's of no use to take out my frustration on them. For a brief moment upon Jyou's reliant shoulder, I had forgotten that I too have responsibilities.  
  
I should scout to see if there's anything salvageable. I swing my leg over Ikkakumon's flank, trying to dismount as quickly as possible, but it snags on some hair, and I find myself tumbling face first toward the ground. I curl my body around the bag containing my computer hoping to cushion it, and land jarringly, my face and arm bearing the brunt of impact. I look up to see Jyou hovering worriedly above me, as the others rush to help.  
  
I wave the others off, nursing my bruised pride, but Jyou stays with me. Not wanting to face him, I immediately check on the condition of my computer, and am somewhat relieved to find it intact.  
  
"Look for anything resembling a disk or intact hardware." I say as I rise to assist the others in the search, still avoiding Jyou. So I turn to the rather unglamourous work of digging through the ruined tech station. Several minutes pass and I try valiantly not to abandon hope of finding any remnants, anything useful!  
  
I curse the cosmos as in a stunning array of coincidences, my two problems collide.  
  
"Koushirou, I found this disk in the base's security system. It appears to be undamaged. I think it might be the security log." said Jyou. The others have already gathered to inspect the disk, and Ken adds his opinion. "I think he's right, look here, the system he found it in is linked up to these ruined camera's." And the coup de grace, Miyako finishes, "Actually, this seems like a really lucky break. I believe what we're picking apart here is the protected recording device meant to serve as a record of whatever caused this damage, what used to be called in old airplane terminology, 'the little black box'."  
  
I walk over to examine the disk myself. "Jyou-san, thank you..." he looks a bit baffled, but hands it to me, smiling. I snatch it rather rudely and turn away, finding that the quick way to keep my mind from wandering. Still, I should be ashamed. Not that this kind of behavior isn't expected of me, I have a tendency to get a little absorbed in my quests for information. The disk itself is quite well preserved, virtually unmarked. Considering it's delicate appearance, resembling a cd, this is fortuitous. For a moment, I fear it will be of no use without the proper equipment, and move to check out the ruined system they'd discovered.  
  
Iori has beat me there, and as I kneel beside him he remarks, "Judging from this, it looks like you should be able to run that disk in a reasonably advanced portable system, like your pineapple." Nodding, I pull out the computer and insert the disk. I try to pull up its contents, but the machine isn't responding. I bang my fist on the ground in utter frustration. this is impossible! As if he sensed my quandary, Jyou walked up behind me, placing a reassuring arm around my shoulders, saying "I'm sure you can find a way Kou-kun." I return a sharp glance, surprised at the short name. No one shortens my name.  
  
He begins to laugh forcedly, his arm rescinded from me to fall in place behind his head in a classic gesture of embarrassment. With his other arm, he diverts attention to the computer screen. "Maybe try running it on a video application or figure out the file type and try to modify it to one you can use..." I would almost think he's blushing, but the light glaring off his glasses, blocking his eyes is dazzling.  
  
Dismissing the odd moment, I start to give his suggestion a try, when a commotion from the direction of the forest we'd left drew my attention. Snapping my laptop shut, and stowing it and the disk in my satchel for safekeeping, I stood to observe what was going on. Strange clouds looking like smoke were rising from the forest, with the occasional dark form soaring above the tree line, booming sounds punctuating the clear air.  
  
"Well I'll be damned. Divide and conquer as the saying goes." We all stared at Daisuke in surprise. That actually made sense, and it also meant our friends were in grave danger. Finding myself deferring to the young leader, I nearly ran to Ikkakumon when he gave the signal to move out, but then thinking better of it, I called out to MegaKabuterimon, who had been using his massive appendages to clear rubble.  
  
He scooped me up in a giant red arm, and we followed behind Aquillamon, the only other airborne digimon present. Normally Stingmon and Exveemon would've joined, but they were a little farther behind, taking the precaution to become Paildramon. Jyou on Ikkakumon and Iori riding Ankylomon formed our ground contingent.  
  
I sighed at having narrowly avoided my unreasonable instinct to join Jyou, but I knew this way was faster, as well as less distracting. I can't afford any more mistakes. It's cost us time and knowledge, and I dare not think what else might yet be at stake.   
  
*************  
  
I quail internally when Taichi and Yamato-kun abandon us, in private discussion with their siblings, for Jyou and Koushirou have already gone to lead the others to our station. It may be for the best, but I can barely stifle the urge to bolt like a frightened deer, unable or unwilling to face the fact that they've left us entirely to ourselves, only she and I.  
  
I so want to ask the world to slow down a little as it hazes into that unsettling though not wholly unpleasant sensation I dread to recognize, but find myself as ineffectual as usual. She wanders away from me casually and I cannot make my legs act to follow, as if mired in my turbulent sentiment, my great stupid weakness beating constantly in my brain. Damn you crest! I can't guard against the emotion bleeding into my every thought, demanding a strength that I'm not capable of. I don't have my best friend's courage, or Yamato's constancy. What I'm said to embody most strongly is that which blinds me even now, drowning my awareness, and shaping my world with pain and joy so intense it defines me. It makes me such a fool.  
  
I force myself to look away, since it wouldn't do to stare, only to catch sight of our digimon. The respective companions of the Yagami and Ishida/Takaishi bunch have followed their partners, leaving Birdramon and Lillymon to us. The two seem quite content to rest themselves after the taxing battle, and I don't begrudge them some well deserved peace, but even in my own stubborn withdrawal I can't abide by the thought of leaving Mimi-chan by herself to stray from us. Though every fiber of my being screams at me to leave worse enough alone, I've nothing left but to follow her, pursuing the hopeless, if only because I can't bear the alternative.  
  
But the conflict in me fades as over the rough terrain she moves farther and farther away, as if trying to disappear into the forest. As I lose sight of her in the tree line, my self pity is replaced by a sense of foreboding urging me desperately on. For a moment I'm tempted not to humor the careless whisper, I mean she's probably just looking for a shady spot to rest herself, but a short glimpse of her still walking away steadily triggers a surge of anxiety inciting me to catch her before it's too late. I find myself running flat out with no consideration for stealth, thinking, I already have nothing to lose.  
  
Despite giving up soccer years ago for more, I don't know, universally acceptable girly pursuits, I'm still in decent shape. I mean, I love my mother, and maybe botany will come in handy some day, but thankfully, tennis isn't bad exercise either, so I'm still catching up pretty quickly. I'm also making a lot of noise and kicking up a sizeable dust cloud against the grainy soil that's the aftermath of the latest attack. How galling. I hate these attacks, and I hate worse the spreading horror they create that we've been facing for years and that I could see splash the faces of the younger generation as we explained to them. It's poison between us. I can't help storing away tears for my 'enemies' behind a dam that will some day burst in a flood of my own bitterness, though in efforts to stem it, I'd like to bite my tongue that lashes against my most precious friends and doesn't stop at despoiling the innocent who don't need the ugly knowledge.  
  
Meanwhile, the spectacle I'm making finally draws her attention, and as I run, her static image flitters in and out of my vision, weaving through the trees. She hasn't moved since she saw me, so I get closer and closer until I putter to a stop a few feet away from her. A single ray of sunlight penetrating the dim canopy alights upon her hair, no longer pink, though still quite lovely in it's original chestnut, and she seems for all the world to shine. I freeze.  
  
As the intruder shattering her idyll, she must expect me to speak. "I, uh..." Damn I'm eloquent.   
  
Still, her eyes start to shimmer as if I'd said something meaningful and she seems torn for a moment. Abruptly she swivels on her heel and turns her back to me, commanding, "Go away." I struggle for something to justify my actions. "But it's dangerous..." I say. She continues, more softly, "Please, I just need to be alone for a while..." her voice fading into a hoarse whisper by the last word.  
  
Almost I turn once more to accommodate, I'll give her whatever she asks. Almost. No matter how muddled I was before, for this instant I know somehow beyond doubt that I can not leave. With inexplicable conviction I walk to close the gap between us.  
  
I feel more than hear the words slipping from my own mouth in the same quiet she'd used. "Oh Mimi..." I rest my hand lightly on her shoulder. Still, I feel her tense up under it. She flings the hand away, whirling to face me for the briefest moment, and I see in her eyes the desperation to flee. I refuse to let her go, using that second to grasp her arm firmly. When she tries to pull away I secure a grip on the opposite arm, though one she could easily break if she really wanted.  
  
But she looks ready to cry instead. "What do you want from me!" she cries out. Not bothering to consider how loaded that question is in this circumstance, I answer the first thing that comes to mind, "I want you to stay." That seems to balk her rampant temper. "How did you...?!" She stammers before managing to shut her mouth.  
  
I guess I hit a nerve. That I know nothing about. All I know is how fragile she feels supported between my hands, and as much as I'd like to pull her in to lean on me, I know she needs to stand on her own. I want what's best for her, even, I force myself to recognize, if it's not my help. I drop my arms suddenly, pretending not to notice the way she stumbles.  
  
"Mimi-chan, I can't admit to knowing anything about what you're thinking right now. I really don't know. look, I'm sorry for the way I snapped at you before, but," I pause for the lie, "you know, these missions are stressful for us and sometimes I let the pressure get the best of me." What an excuse for explaining away my longing and envy, for her purity! I continue blithely lest my resolve flag. "You're probably tired too, but we should stay together. We need you." Her face lights with an expression of pleasant surprise. That selfsame allure of incorruptible resiliency resurges. I gulp and finish lamely, "Uh, we need you to help us fight."  
  
"Oh." she replies, looking, disappointed? Right. Wishful thinking. Turning away slightly, she comments, casually, though with a tinge of shame, "But I thought you didn't want to fight, Sora." Stranger and stranger.  
  
"I don't." Oops, that just came out automatically. "But, uh, you know I think protecting this world is so much more important in the scheme of things than petty morality, and no stain on my conscience would compare to letting this world just be left unguarded. I thought we could handle it well enough without the others having to get dir-uh, involved, but what's done is done, and we need to be strong." I'm not sure if I believe that, but she needs this, doesn't she?  
  
"Strong..." she repeats. "If you believe it, then it's... I'll do it..."  
  
"No Mimi-chan! You have to believe it too! Or do what you believe in! Don't run away!" god, I'm such a hypocrite.  
  
"But, I don't know! I'm scared! What if, I'm wrong, and everybody will just get hurt! I don't want it I-"  
  
"Are you too cowardly to do what you think is right!" come on Mimi, come back to yourself, I can't carry this charade much longer. Please, I need you to have your surety, your happiness.   
  
"I've hurt too many people already..."  
  
"Then get off your ass and fix it you little twit because people sure as hell aren't going to forgive you for not having the nerve!" I want to cry as the harsh words escape me, I'm sorry Mimi-chan, these were meant for me, my own ugly self loathing used against you. I'm sorry. But I know this time I've gone to far as I see her cock back her arm in pain and shock.  
  
I close my eyes and angle my head slightly downward and to the side, bracing for the slap I so thoroughly deserve, and am surprised when it doesn't come. Cautiously I reopen my eyes to see Mimi-chan looking just as surprised as I, hand still pulled back ready to slap. She meets my eyes without trace of anger, gesturing with her other hand and says, "Look Sora, there's fire!"  
  
I look in the direction she pointed and see it, but in the meantime she grabs my hand and starts pulling me in a fire free direction out of the forest. As we approach the clearing, I can see the others, Yamato-kun and MetalGarurumon trying vainly to guard the rather helpless Taichi and Koromon, while Takeru and Hikari ride together in the sky on Pegasusmon and Nefertimon. The enemies seem a monstrous array with everything from airdramon to tyrannomon, and all sorts in between I don't recognize. Our Lillymon and Birdramon are holding their own corner in the sky, but seemed weakened without us. reading some of their moves, I stop and force Mimi behind me as quickly as I can, intending to shield her from an incoming Meteor Wing. The attack strikes the ground nearby, blowing us in the direction of the fray. I check if Mimi is all right but she seems a bit dazed, having broken some of the impact with the ground for me. My back aches with light burns, but I wait 'til she regains herself before trying to move.  
  
By this time, our loyal digimon have oriented on us, and are coming to help, but unfortunately, so have some nearby unfriendly ones. Birdramon and Lillymon reach the air in front of us in time, but are swatted down by the powerful limbs of a Deltamon, which then advances its three-headed hunger toward Birdramon. NO! Mimi-chan has latched on to my arm tightly now, restraining me from foolishly running off to both my and Birdramon's deaths, but, I must do something before the unthinkable happens! One of the hand/maw's rushes towards birdramon, and I try with all my might to run, reach over there, something, but find it impossible to free myself from Mimi's iron like grasp. I can only scream.  
  
"BIRDRAMON, DIGIVOLVE!"  
  
************  
  
"Look, I said, NO."  
  
"I don't really think you have much of a say in this at all 'niichan."  
  
"While I'm still the leader of this group I do. The digiworld will be fine. Don't worry your little head about it. We'll take care of it. Now finish your picnic and run on home, out of big brother's hair."  
  
"Don't patronize me, especially when its obvious that you /do/ need our help. How am I supposed to not worry when you seem more concerned with your hair than the digital world. Besides, as far as I can remember, Daisuke-kun is our leader."  
  
"Leave soccer boy out of this! When I say you're going home, I mean it, not just as the leader of the chosen but as your brother, so just forget this happened." There, that must have put her in her place.  
  
"Who are you calling soccer boy? And how dare you ignore not only my own right to chose as an adult but also the welfare of this world just so you can feel like, a big man. All you'll end up doing is getting yourself killed because you were to stubborn too listen to us, and how do you think we'd feel then! Daisuke-kun might not be as bossy as you, but as a /leader/ he understands what's really important, like saving the world, or did you forget all about that too?"  
  
Or maybe not. Damn, the stupid argument genes must run in the family. Takeru is fidgeting nervously while he watches our verbal match, and Yama's at my side, helping the cause with his trademark, cool stare. Sora and Mimi wandered off someplace a while ago. Anyway, there is no way in hell I'm backing down, specially when I'm right. And not to my little sister. Alright, time for a change of tactics.  
  
"'Kari-chan," ha, pulling out the big guns now, time for an old fashioned guilt trip, "you know how dangerous this is, and I thought you of all people would understand how even if I think you're ready, it's not just up to me or you, this affects everyone we love too, and I promised our parents that I would protect this place so you wouldn't have to get involved. They want you at least to have a normal life, where you don't have to think about the fate of the world, just be yourself. They don't want to risk their baby girl." I resist the urge to smirk. "They almost lost us so many times before, and this is something I want to do, not for myself, but for all of you, because even if I owe our friends in the digiworld so much, I won't sacrifice my family." Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a winner. However, I just can't seem to resist to putting on my finishing touch. "Think about how you felt when I had to leave you behind to go back with Agumon 12 years ago. Do you want to make them feel that way?"  
  
"That's how I feel now." DAMN! Argh, I sooo almost had that one. Great, now what do I do? The silence is getting conspicuous.  
  
Meanwhile, Takeru takes the opportunity to jump in, "That's not the only issue here either. Surely both of don't expect us to give up the digital world, because by saying we shouldn't sign on with the government, in effect, that's what you're asking of us."  
  
Thankfully, Yama takes this, "I'm afraid I agree with Taichi here, Takeru. Even if it does mean giving up the digital world, your safety is more important." I sigh a little at that one. I thought I'd never hear the words 'I agree with Taichi' come out of his mouth. But I should really trust him, he's loyal beyond belief, even if I give him every reason to question me. Hikari-chan's right, I'm not a great leader. He continues, "Besides, this isn't like before." His voice gets quieter, dropping into that rough range, where you can almost hear the air vibrate, it's so resonant. Drives me nuts. "Working for the government means doing things you don't exactly understand, it means working their agenda." Then he steps on my foot, really damn hard! I was so busy pretending not to pay attention to him I missed my cue. Sometimes I wonder why I bother, but if he knew how much I actually do care, I'd never live it down!  
  
"Uh yeah, that is, uh..." I stall until I finally think of something, "right, we have to make some hard choices in this line of work guys, I saw what that did to all of you before, and neither of us wants to put guys through that. It's worse than never seeing the digiworld again." I say this even though I can't imagine what never returning here would be like. I can't believe I'm actually starting to waver here.  
  
Hikari-chan looks me in the eye and says, "If it means protecting the digital world, the others will do it without hesitation. And you have no control over that 'niichan." Takeru does the same to Yamato, saying, "We will not abandon them." That one scored. Yamato's never quite forgiven himself for the mistake of leaving us years ago, and I'm sure we're both remembering how horrible that time without each other was. It's true, the others will no doubt, make deals, and it wouldn't be right to force them to give up on their friends. Argh, this is giving me a brain ache.  
  
Well, the girl's got Yagami instincts all right, I think as she presses the advantage, "Oniichan, you don't have to be my keeper. We can beat them together, just like before, and we won't have to worry about holding our own because we'll all have each other." Takeru starts up right after, it's uncanny the level of cooperation those two have. "As a team, the twelve of us are the strongest force I've ever seen. Nothing else will stand a chance, not if we have all of us." I wish me and Yamato could be so congruous. His support means so much to me. Too bad I don't have it. Still I can see we've both given in.  
  
"oh, all right. But I am not giving my job Daisuke. Don't get me wrong, I like the kid, he just hasn't got my style." I say. Hikari-chan gets a huge smile on her face, and jumps up to hug me. Takeru has moved to Yamato and manages to convince him to shake hands at least, even though he still looks grumpy. That's Yama for you, but we all know he's said yes as well. Damn squirts.  
  
Our little make up party is cut short by a line of digimon breaking through the foliage, taking us by surprise. A cursory analysis reveals they've got some air support arriving in short order. Damn, I was a fool staying in the open here, where they knew our position, and now we've split up. I should have at least posted sentries, and where the hell are Mimi and Sora anyway? I see Lillymon and Birdramon not far off though, and they're gearing for battle as well.  
  
"MetalGarurumon!" calls Yamato, and he mounts, swinging into position in front of me. Takeru and Hikari have their D-3's out, summoning Pegasusmon and Nefertimon. Setting Koromon down, I tell him, "Quick, digivolve!" There's a short sparkle, as he invokes Agumon's name, but it fades and he remains Koromon. "Koromon, no! Now is not a good time buddy!" He replies apologetically, "Sorry Tai, I'm just too tired from before." This is maddening, if only I hadn't been so stupid! "Don't worry about it Koromon, my fault." By this time, our siblings have already taken to the air, but remembering something important, I run towards them, shouting, "Hikari, use your D-terminal, call the others for help!" They don't seem to hear me, dammit, I have to get closer. I ground to a halt as MetalGarurumon bounds ahead of me. Yamato turns back to me with a severe expression. "Are you trying to get yourself fucking killed! Stay back you moron." He has time to finish just before they're upon us, and I instinctively follow his directives retreating into a small hollow in the ground behind him. From here I can pretty much survey the entire battle, seeing that MetalGarurumon is keeping a lot of the ground forces at bay with his Cocytus Breath, and battering anything tooth and nail that comes within range. Dammit, should be helping Yamato, somehow. Hikari and Takeru above are teaming up against the air monsters with their joint attacks, and using some of the forest to help obstruct the enemy. A distance away to our right Birdramon and Lillymon are holding their part of airspace, but are to besieged too reach us. I creep out a little, thinking there must be something I can do. In a second Yama and MetalGarurumon are there, and he's screaming at me again, "Get the hell back in that hole. I am not letting you die of your own stupidity." But this time I'm too damn mad to listen. And I nearly get squashed by an attacking monochromon. Faster than I can see, Yama and company toast it, but the rest are pressing us so hard he doesn't have time to bother with me for now. Koromon and I spot a few bakemon closing in on MetalGarurumon's back, so I, taking up a heavy tree branch, use it to smack one into the other, and Koromon uses the distraction of the collision to hit a medium sized tree with his bubble attack a few times, felling it on them. But things are coming in too fast and furious to think straight now.   
  
While I'm in a short lull, I see Birdramon a Lillymon go down, fighting a deltamon. Oh shit, that's not gonna help. The deltamon goes straight for birdramon, and I start to call to Yama to get there, quick as possible, but before I open my mouth, a great light engulfs the giant firebird and it digivolves to Garudamon. Sora and Mimi must be over there! Garudamon creams the deltamon and they commence fighting a path over to us, and as they near, I can see two small figures clinging to Garudamon.  
  
Intent on the girls, I had lost some concentration on the surrounding area, and turn back around when I hear a pained growl. Two tyrannomon had ganged up on MetalGarurumon and finally scored a telling blow, and as the wolf digimon fell back, it's energy seemed to float away and coalesce in the tiny form of Tsunomon, which Yama took in his arms before being spilled none too gently to the ground nearby. He seems to sit there paralyzed as the tyrranomon advance towards him, and before I know it, I'm rushing there, pushing myself harder as I watch the monster build up its finishing attack.   
  
YAMATO!   
  
A few feet away I make a desperate lunge as I spy the release of the attack, crushing against him hard and locking my arms about the first thing they can grasp. The force of my push carries us far enough so the attack strikes the ground behind us, and the attack's blast throws us into the air briefly, and we land in a tangle together, rolling and rolling.  
  
It takes me a while to regain full perception, but as I do, I realize I'm still in a heap on the ground with Yamato. He seems a little more stunned at the impact than I, but he somehow managed to keep his grasp on Tsunomon. I finally notice that Koromon is bouncing worriedly near my head, somehow having bypassed that last attack.  
  
Hey, if Koromon's by my head, what've I got my hands around that's sort of roundish and warm, firm but elastic. I squeeze experimentally. Yama stirs a little. My eyes widen for a second, and I hastily remove my hands before he wakes up and beats the crap out of me. I sigh, then wince, bad thoughts, bad!  
  
Wait, how are we still alive? Then I see Hikari and Takeru a little ahead of us, having landed, while Garudamon and Lillymon have taken their spot in the air. Somehow, it seems they've beaten the enemy line back slightly, and with the kids dismounted, Nefertimon and Pegasusmon have taken the opportunity to return to Patamon and Tailmon, Angemon appearing seconds later. Then I see it, there's a strange shuffle within the horde, looking like a single digimon moving to the front. I, still holding Yamato, decide not to move and instead call out a warning, "Hikari, there's something str-"  
  
She'd started to move toward me, away from Takeru, to hear better, but we both desist as there seemed to be a second charge mounting, and without bothering to change to Angewomon yet, Tailmon and Angemon move to force them back. But then the ripple I'd seen clears to the front, revealing, no, it can't be! Angemon and Tailmon who'd gathered near where Takeru was standing finally noticed the digimon. Demon. Heading straight for the area they'd vacated.   
  
Their move as well as the coming air strike from Garudamon and Lillymon was too late to stop Demon's strange maneuver. I remember noting peripherally several shapes resembling Paildramon and Aquillamon and the like coming in behind us, but my attention was monopolized by Demon ahead of us, watching helplessly as he attacked, and my sister was backlit, then consumed in the darkness of a midnight black flame.  
  
************  
  
End Chapter 2  
  
A/N: ooooookay, so subtlety dissolved into nothingness. but if you ask me, just the fact that it got done-ish is enough. and i know its all really ooc, but, i tried my best. and i did manage a taito ass grab, just for you hopu. i guess i really have nothing else to say other than apologizing for its badness. done done done uh, just ignore me would you. oh and btw. i did /not/ kill off hikari (sorry hikari haters, i just dig hiyako too much to do that). also, this fic is going on hiatus for a while after this chap. because i'd like to write some other stories. not that anyone cares but i just thought i'd mention it.  
  
A note on japanese words: I am not what most people would call a purist. i will not hesitate to use the words 'takeru' and 'digivolve' in the same sentence. (hmm, takeru digivolving, what an interesting idea. ack, this is when you know you need sleep)  
  
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End file.
